Since I was a child, I had the weird feeling of not knowing who I am. We used to live in Germany and right at the time I was starting my primary school, we had to move to Bosnia. Living in one city for a while and moving to another one was kinda hard. I left my parents house at age of 14 and went to highschool in another city. I've dropped into the university afterwards and changed my friends cycle once again. I was able to meet a lot of people in my life but not very few of them, was I able to bound to.
There has been several reasons for that.
- Jelaousy
No matter who or how I always managed to have jelaous people around me and be jelaous myself sometimes, not because I fel intimidated by someone, but because I feel a huge essence in loving people as they are, and when they wouldn't love me back, I would feel guilty and jelaous of others having that feeling and it would bother me.
- Honesty
When I look back I see that honesty is not a characteristics owned by a lot of people. I am not saying that I have been the most honest person at all, but at least I tried to improve and to act responsible toward others pople's feelings.
- Empathy
Empathy means a lot to me. It is the way we feel for others. Do you know how it is to be bullied because genetics did not asure you artificial beauty and you have to listen to all of those who torture you. Have you ever put yourself in someone else's shoes? I tried, and it scared the shit out of me. It is not easy being someone else, so how could you possibly understand what they are going through.
- Prejudice
It speaks for itself.
- Expectations
I do not know how many of you have experienced the awful feeling of being guilty for not fulfilling someone's plans they prepared for you, but the constant conduct of behavior they asked you for must have been very stressful for both parties. For you, because you probably did not want to chase their dreams but instead your own, and for them, because they saw with how much difficulty they are trying to persuade you.
I know, a lot of people will say I am crazy for saying such private things and stuff, but it has just one aim.
Prooving that you are not alone. You probably have your own list of things that bother you and you'd like to improve in but the main point is that all people find it very hard to struggle with themselves during different periods of life. If you want have friends, you have to be one, yourself.
During all these changes in life I appretiated the most people with less obvious jelaousy and prejudice, and honest people with empathy. You will never meet the perfect person who is truly complete because everyone has their own battles, but you will meet a lot of persons who are still looking for the deep meanings of life, trying to understand how to behave and act. This is mainly the reason you feel confortable with your special friends, it's always because you see a piece of them appealing to your soul and making it easier understand why you love them so much in the ways you do. Some will resemble you, some will be quite the opposite, but you will always seek in them the missing link you need for your own life. This is the reason we are so dependent on socializing and having friends. I am a person with a few friends whom I trust and pay my full attention to. It is not because they are perfect, nor did they choose me because I am, it is because they make me complete as a person, and through them I am able to seek the very best in myself. It is about gratitude and commitment. Once you find these kind of relationships in any phase you are going through in your life, make yourself sure that you will never let these bounds dissapear, because once you have a friendship like this, there is no limits for achieving anything in the world. Just infinity. And love.
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle
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