Solitude.

It's never easy to talk about private stuff. But it makes people feel better. So let me start off..

Since I was a child, I had the weird feeling of not knowing who I am. We used to live in Germany and right at the time I was starting my primary school, we had to move to Bosnia. Living in one city for a while and moving to another one was kinda hard. I left my parents house at age of 14 and went to highschool in another city. I've dropped into the university afterwards and changed my friends cycle once again. I was able to meet a lot of people in my life but not very few of them, was I able to bound to.
There has been several reasons for that.

•  Jelaousy

No matter who or how I always managed to have jelaous people around me and be jelaous myself sometimes, not because I fel intimidated by someone, but because I feel a huge essence in loving people as they are, and when they wouldn't love me back, I would feel guilty and jelaous of others having that feeling and it would bother me.

•  Honesty

When I look back I see that honesty is not a characteristics owned by a lot of people. I am not saying that I have been the most honest person at all, but at least I tried to improve and to act responsible toward others pople's feelings.

•  Empathy

Empathy means a lot to me. It is the way we feel for others. Do you know how it is to be bullied because genetics did not asure you artificial beauty and you have to listen to all of those who torture you. Have you ever put yourself in someone else's shoes? I tried, and it scared the shit out of me. It is not easy being someone else, so how could you possibly understand what they are going through.

• Prejudice

It speaks for itself.

•  Expectations

I do not know how many of you have experienced the awful feeling of being guilty for not fulfilling someone's plans they prepared for you, but the constant conduct of behavior they asked you for must have been very stressful for both parties. For you, because you probably did not want to chase their dreams but instead your own, and for them, because they saw with how much difficulty they are trying to persuade you.



I know, a lot of people will say I am crazy for saying such private things and stuff, but it has just one aim.
Prooving that you are not alone. You probably have your own list of things that bother you and you'd like to improve in but the main point is that all people find it very hard to struggle with themselves during different periods of life. If you want have friends, you have to be one, yourself.

During all these changes in life I appretiated  the most people with less obvious jelaousy and prejudice, and  honest people with empathy. You will never meet the perfect person who is truly complete because everyone has their own battles, but you will meet a lot of persons who are still looking for the deep meanings of life, trying to understand how to behave and act. This is mainly the reason you feel confortable with your special friends, it's always because you see a piece of them appealing to your soul and making it easier understand why you love them so much in the ways you do. Some will resemble you, some will be quite the opposite, but you will always seek in them the missing link you need for your own life. This is the reason we are so dependent on socializing and having friends. I am a person with a few friends whom I trust and pay my full attention to. It is not because they are perfect, nor did they choose me because I am, it is because they make me complete as a person, and through them I am able to seek the very best in myself. It is about gratitude and commitment. Once you find these kind of relationships in any phase you are going through in your life, make yourself sure that you will never let these bounds dissapear, because once you have a friendship like this, there is no limits for achieving anything in the world. Just infinity. And love.

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle

Inspiration.

I am a firm believer that the life holds so many opportunities for all of us and that it is a deep ocean waiting for us to be explored. Life is about experience, making mistakes, right choices and about learning.
But most important, life is about YOU. You are the one that holds the strings of your destiny. Do not let failures and negativities define who you are. Every second spent in sadness, decreases your happiness in life for the same amount of time you could have been laughing and enjoying your life instead of crying over spilt milk.
Different situations will teach you different lessons. Make yourself sure that after every experience you will come out as a brighter and wiser person. Here are 20 inspirational quotes which helped me define what I want to be like.
Read them, understand them and take the best out of them.
Lots of love,
Lolita

Price Tag.

A lot of girls is convinced that beauty is what is served to them. You know that feeling when you buy a magazine to read something interesting, and you see the cover page with a beautiful girl ( read: photoshoped skinny puppet), and think to yourself: "If only I looked like this!"
It happened to all of us, at least once.
But I am not going to talk about these idealized puppets whose job is only to make you feel bad about yourself, they do not deserve it! I am going to talk about something much more important. Real Beauty.

First of all try to define beauty. I guess there is a bunch of definitions out there which can help you. Which one will you choose? And more important, will you let it get to you?
Nowadays, people are just blinded with the things that are on the outside, the visual things. I guess it is easier for them to comprehend people as objects and not complicated individuals with all of their inner emotions and processes.
Some people can maybe define beauty, but no one should be able to influence what beauty means to you. To oneself. Beauty, for me, is intellingence, sense of humor, kindness. Not perfect make up, nor designer clothes. All of these fade away, eventually.

You know, you might be a cover girl, and everyone might look at you for a moment, but then they will seek for another one, because your cover story cannot please people permanently. Your beauty is too empty to have a meaning. You should rather be a good book, a classic, a never fully explored beauty which people will read over and over again in order to find and learn something new.
Don't get simple fashion take away your real, inner beauty.

Think of it, why do we put price tags on beauty? Maybe because it is only a business for making non self-confident women spend their money on stuff no one needs to be a part of the idealized shape and image of  how a woman should look like or is it because real beauty is something so rare, that no one could actually afford it?

In the end it is all about how you perceive certain standards and trends. You should never pretend to be something you are not in order to fit in. Never let people dictate what beauty means to you. Beauty is not in eye of beholder, it is in his mind and heart.

This is a post dedicated to a very special woman that happens to be my friend. You should be proud of yourself.  I am. You are beautiful to me for everything you are.